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Jeans Graffiti
Jeans Graffiti
Very short paragraph, is it good?


Not the best, but is it ok? Its bugging me a bit to know if it doesn't sound too immature.

"Her Carribean sea-colored eyes scanned through the various shirts hanging in her closet. She flicked each hanger to the side until she found her black Hollywood Undead shirt, displaying the band wearing their reputed masks with the band's name in graffiti lettering. She grabbed the top pair of jeans from the bottom of the closet, shut the door, and went into the only bathroom in the apartment to change."
There is a pile of jeans at the bottom of the closet. The top pair of jeans.
"She grabbed the top pair of jeans from the pile at the bottom of the closet, shut the door, and went into the only bathroom in the apartment to change." <-There, I changed it.
Any suggestions as to how I can change it? I tried to not be too descriptive.
And btw, its a way of describing her choice of clothes and describing her eyes, not her changing.

You have received very good answers therefore I will keep mine brief. You are quite descriptive and I applaud you for that:) However, less is more sometimes. Only describe what contributes to the story. Excess description can appear redudant.

Instead of saying, "Her carribean sea colored eyes.."

I understand you would like to imply that her eyes are the color of the carribean sea but as a reader that would seem a bit much.

Just write, "her blue eyes." simple:)

Don't feel as if you have to be terribly descriptive to keep your reader's interest.

You have potential :) Keep writing.
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How did Jean-Michel Basquait help out with the Graffiti movement?


And does he still have paintings in SoHo?

Who said that he did?
Well, IF he helped out with with the graffiti movement, then it was because of his WRITTEN STATEMENTS like "plush safe he thinks" we call that this ORIGINALITY. no i don't think there are paintings left in SoHo.